I have been blessed...

I love my life here so much. I like going to church and everytime i worship, i felt the presence of God. It was hard to walk this path at first, but as time goes by, I began to understand why He put me in this kind of situation. He wants me to experience life-changing incidents. I thank you Lord for providing for me. I have no regrets coming to Australia, meeting new friends, learning new skills and broaden my views.

I am trying to learn to praise God eventhough I am facing difficulties.The power of praise is great and awesome. I am living happily everyday here in Melbourne, with a whole bunch of friends supporting me as well as He leading me. Thank you God for the plans He has made for me.

SPM result is finally out...

Yea. I got my results but i don't really feel the excitement because i was not there to take the result from my teacher. Sigh. Thank God I manage to do pretty well and i did not let Him nor my parents down. Thank you to all who helped me did well in my exam, those who prayed for me, those who taught me, those who supported me and those who provided for me.

I was so shocked when i got the MESSAGE from my dad saying that I scored 11As in my results. I was hacing my maths lecture that time. During the break, i checked my hanphone and then I was literally screaming in my heart. Then i called my parents but none of them picked up the phone.. Therefore, i called Jan. She reconfirmed me with my result. I hung up and i could not concentrate in class after that.

I was happy and sad at the same time. I felt happy bacause I did not let my family down. However,there;s another part of me that felt that I do not deserve this result. I have never really studied that hard like my friends did yet i get better results. In Albert House (the current place i stayed in), there are three more other Malaysians who scored straight As in their SPM. They are those people who really worked VERY VERY hard before SPM, unlike me.

There are some people who asked Shireen , " Is Bernice a hardworking girl in school? She scored so well." That time Shireen do not know how to answer czuse she knows I am a sluggard, everytime study last minute. Now, when people in ALbert HOuse says I am so clever, so hardworking or when they address me as the straight A girl, i felt so embarrased.

Anyway, I still thank God for His blessings to me. If it was not Him, I would not have scored this well. I think what God is trying to show me is to rely on Him and he will make my path straight. Amen.

7 Days in this new environment...

7 days have passed. I know this sounds very emo, but I don't know why I have been crying non-stop since Monday. Before I went to school, everything seems okay. I stayed in my mum's friends house and she took me and my mum around Melbourne. It was fun. I haven't felt the pressure yet. I moved in to my hostel on Sunday. It was still okay, My mum is staying in the hostel as well.

Things changed after I came back from school on Monday(sound of thunder). I began to feel very empty and lost. Maybe because in school i was alone cause Shireen is attending a different session. I have to so called 'forced' to socialise. I was not an expert in this. I have been seeing people in my hostel drunk and smoking. All i wanted was to do is stay in my room , socialise if i had to. Of course, there are still some good guys an girls around. Maybe i am still used to the community I have been in back in Malaysia. A sudden change in environment makes me feel empty and lost. I have to start all over again. Thank God Chow is here with me.

Mom left for Sydney but will be back on the 4th of March. I just can't stop crying eventhough i want it to stop so badly. I hope when classes start, i will be able to be strong and focus on my studies. It's weird when my parents call or my friends call, i will be tearing. It's UNCONTROLLABLE ! I really hope this feeling won't last.

Please remember me in your prayer. Thank you.Thank God i found friends which are trusworthy and kind-hearted. Today, one of the girls broke down in tears when she sent her dad back to Brunei. Then we all comforted her and then a guy suddenly said to her: We all came here to study, we will miss our parents, so let us work hard and focus on out studies. We have to help each other out throughtout this period of time.. His words spoke to me.. I was touched at that moment and i didn't really expext that to come out from a guy.. hehe..

The best CNY ever!!!

This year my CNY is cut short as I will be leaving soon... But i Felt loved everyday by family and friends. Besides getting angpaus for CNY, I got angpaus for my journey in Australia. In some ways, they are trying their best to make my life easier in Australia. They know i was leaving and all of them us there to help me. That makes me wanna CRY.. We only meet once a year or in some special ocassion yet they never forget that I exist. I thank them from the bottom of my heart to the core of it. I am lucky to be born in this family and to have this circle of friends. A big thank you to my heavenly father too.. He is really a great planner and a merciful giver!!

THANK YOU!! I love you all sooooo much!!!

Pictures speaks more than words..