Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Patience is bitter, but the fruit is sweet...

As u all know, i'm not a very patient person. Especially to those i love. I've been experiencing a lot of these situation for the past 4 weeks when things started to change. I some how just cannot accept the reasons he/she gave me. My friends told me i'm controlling too much but i cannot help it. Until now i'm still struggling with this issue.

Today, i walk past my school's corridors and i saw this phrase. This phrase shows me the need to be patient and what will i get from it. I've been praying for quite some time about this issue but God did not make my anger or fear go away. Instead, i think God created a lot more situations like his for me to handle but i don't seem to handle it well. My friends told me that i'm controlling too much, therefore, i've been using all kinds of way to make myself busy doing things or sleeping.

Yesterday, i still think i can get over this issue after I've listened to Janice's advise. It make me forget about my anger for a while. But after some time, the same thing came back to me again, it's like a super glu glued to me. Today, everything seems fine but just now things turned bad again. I don't know how many patience i have left before i blow up. I keep on reminding myself to let go. Sometimes it worked, but most of the time i failed to control it and i will say something that i did not attempt to say. I'm sorry. When someone is angry they tend to say things which they don't really mean.

I've collected alot of advises from my friends how to be patient but the practical part is super duper hard for me especially to those i love. I think i just have to keep on praying and learn at the same time. Patience is a very difficult lesson(trust me, i know). Everytime we have any conversations, we will either end it in a boring way or in an uncomfortable way and i don't know why i just cannot control my tongue.

No matter how hard it is, i still have to learn it. I'm sure that God will be by my side picking me up again and again if i fail to triumph over my problems. Please remember me in you prayer. Thank you so much.

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